måndag 5 september 2016

The Armellian Grimnismal

I dont think I have written fanfiction since I was like twelve, but Armello actually made me do it. Enjoy this little piece I posted on their forum, which has unfortunately been closed down.

Original myth do not steal

Okay, so this one probably bears some explaining. The general setting of Armello has always reminded me of the tale from norse mythology called Grimnismal. In it, a king is chosen by Odin to rule but turns out to be not so suited for the job. Instead, a kid that shows kindness to the disguised Odin gets the throne. The bulk of the poem is a presentation of people and places from norse myth to benefit the new king. One day I got it into my head to write an “Armellian” version, so to speak. The main problem was who to use for the Odin role (as well as the role of his wife Frigg). In the end I ended up using my own character for the job. And so I present to you, the Armellian Grimnismal! I have done my best to pay homage to the writing-style and meter of the original tale while at the same time working in as many Armello references as possible.

There were two cubs, one a lion and one a otter. The otter was ten years old but the lion eight. Once they went out fishing, hoping to catch the fabled rainbow-fish, which would signify the coming of a true king. While they were fishing two rabbit peasants came up to them. One of them were an old thin man with a bent back and a wide grin and the other a hefty mistress with hair down to her belly. The thin man spoke with the lion and advised him on his fishing and the peasant woman did the same for the otter. Suddenly the otter felt a thug and it was the rainbow fish. He struggled mightily as the river grew fiercer and hotter from the struggle. Seeing that the otter had almost pulled the fish ashore the lion pushed him into the water so that the river carried him away. "Go where the Banes may take you" the lion shouted. He turned around but the peasant couple was gone. The lion returned and later became the king of Armello and a man of great renown. 

Tymor and Permeter were sitting on the moon and looked upon the world. Tymor said: "See how your champion lives among bandits and thieves while mine is a king and rules over many clans?" Permeter responded: "He is so mad from the rot that he tortures and kills innocent beggars if he suspects there is a thief among them". Tymor said that it was the greatest lie and they made a bet about this matter. Tymor disguised himself as a dirty stranger and entered the capital where the king´s guards captured him. He was placed upon on a log and the king´s sorcerers cast immolation on both ends. There the stranger was questioned by the king for nine days and nights but said nothing. The following night the king was busy talking with his trusted steward. A boy called Sylas, son of the otter, came and gave the stranger a drink of wyldsap. He said it was a foul deed to torture the stranger without any reason. The stranger had now sat on the log for so long that the fire burned the purple mantle on his back.

Tymor spake:

Hot are you fire, too fierce by far
Too hot for a stranger to bear
At my back the cottontail is smote
At my front the huldra´s joy is fast catching flames!

I sat between fires, for nine night and days
No meat, no mead was I given
Save Sylas alone, so alone shall he rule
Over the clans and towns of Armello

Glory to your name, Sylas, hailed you are
By the god of tricks and traps
For a single drink you will never get
A greater gift than I offer

The lands to the north, that lies far away
Snow and wolf live together
And Thane´s descandents shall ever there dwell
As long as Armello stands

Greenguard is the valley where
Elyssa a hall has set
And in Shamrock fields, Brun received
His scars of ancient times

An old ruin I see, a bluish hue
Although only a circle remains
Here Sana was given, by the mighty stag god
The blue stones of  prophecy

The rat clan city stands well tall
Amid the murmurs and lofty waves
There daily does Mecurio, with bags of gold
In gladness drink his wine

In Magna´s home, the iron shield
The tables stretches far
There does the mistress, every day
Sew a belt from foxes she´s slain
It is easy to know for those that searches
When you are at her house
The roof is made from shields, all are bright
On the benches chainmails are strewn
It is easy to know for those that searches
When you are at her house
The sign of the wolf hangs over the door
And above a eagle flies

Also there is River´s home
The wolf of marvelous might
Now she lives, the bow-maiden fair
In the home that her father had.

 In the ruins of blackspire, I verily see
A form I find most foul
Sargon knows and sees very far
But his destiny is far from sorrow-free

In the smithy and mines of the warren
Where the industrious rabbits hold sway
In well-built armor, Barnaby glad
Let his hammer clink and clang

In the same city Amber sits and collects
The treasures and followers she have
Half of the stones, the blue precious stones
Of which Sana has but two

In the capital, the beggers and thieves
Are hidden beneath the streets
Here all her days, do Twiss dwell
As master of the guild

Into the woods, here is Horace´s home
Deep among roses and thorns
The mighty man here he sits
His words given heed by all

The waters run grey and the high-standing grass
Blows as the whirwind Zosha whirls by
But the words of her mistress she will not heed
When she has taken the throne

In Arcdale Woods and Blueberry town
The very best food is made
Scarlet knows what few men do
Where the best fare may be had

The mighty mistress, the thieves heed
The famed bandit king of old
The weapon-decked bandit clan, knows and sees all
About what the king may do

Twiss and Horace she sends every day
Every day they set forth
Scarlet worries that the poet will not return
But for Twiss she worries more

Loud roars the river when Ghor transforms
Joy flows into the woods
Hard does his back seems as he rolls
To wade the torrent wild

Here is rot´s bog , the darkest of gate
Under it are dungeons deep
Old is the gate, old are the roads
But the darkness is tightly locked
Five hundred doors  and forty there are,
I think, in Adventurer´s Tomb
Eight hundred guard will a single bane fight
When Armello to doom must go
Five hundred rooms  and forty there are
I think, in the castle built;
Of all the homes  whose roofs I see from the moon
Tis one the greatest, I deem

The underground roads, the rivers black
Underneath the world they run
Over one festers banes, over one is Armello
Over the last lies the gods own land

More banes there are, in the underwyrm
Than an brilliant fool could count
All shall ever, as long as I know
Gnaw the roots of the world
They suffer more evil, uncountables blows
Far more than men do know
Strive is among men, the gods are unjust
And banes do gnaw beneath

The best of kingdoms must Armello be
Teleport best of spells
Of all the followers, apprentice is best
And thorns the best of games
Mercurio of rats, Rivers own bow
Scarlet of bandits and Pride´s Edge of swords

You are drunk, oh king. Drunk of the hot rot wine
Much have you lost for no more help
Will you get from the heroes´ clans

You listened not to my advice, all that I told
False are the words of your friends
All around you, usurpers are they
Hoping to wet their swords

Your rotten body shall the banes have
For your days are numbered and gone
All are hostile, even I
Come at us, if you can!

When the king heard this he took his sword to slay Sylas and Tymor but as dawn approached the rot took his body and he fell down dead. Tymor immediately disappeared and Sylas was credited for killing the mad king. He grew up and ruled wisely for many years.

söndag 23 augusti 2015

First part of new jackalope book

Preview of the next book in the jackalope series:

It had to be repaired; there was no doubt about it. Broken things needed fixing. Nature did not fix things by itself; humans had to do it. That was the way of the world. And if nobody else saw the problem, then it was up to her to do it. All alone...but she had never been weak! She could fix this, she could repair everything. No problem was too big or small for her to solve! She just needed a bigger hammer; the one she was stuck with down here in the fuming darkness was not enough, not by a long shot...
"I accept this challenge, and will not turn back until I have finished my task! I swear it!!" she said to the nothingness all around her.
Something was moving in the shadows, something white and toothy. It thought that this newly arrived lady was very strange indeed.
It was the time of birth.
However, it was just the birth of a legend, not the true birth of things. The rabbit paradise that was Tymor heaved and panted, finally releasing The Silvercrowned One into the world. This being was the paradise of Tymor made manifest and set out to dig out the underworld with its claws and stomping feet. It had been a long time in the making, and a long time poking at cracks to succeed.



Like so many other things it started with a party. Jane and Grey had been made guests of honor at one of The Silvercrowned One´s parties in the midst of the smiling moon. The both of them were trying to look at the audience while both trying to evaluate the number of medals their rivals had been given. Jane had more, although Grey´s were more valuable. The Silvercrowned one was standing near the greatest tree of the moon forest while giving a long speech to their bravery and compassion. It ended, quite surprisingly, with a promotion for the two of them.
And how to describe a party planned by The Silvercrowned One on the smiling moon? The casual drinks are had at Totte and Scriven´s palace at the very edge of the ravine that gives the moon its characteristic smiling shape. Then the guests are invited to jump down the swirling kaleidoscope to the depths of the magical moon. There is a great forest and mountains, and fresh air and burrows and everybody feasts and have a good time the whole night into the early hours of the morning. Some of the more hardy party-goers may then continue at the great tower of Centzon-Tototchin, backbone of The Silvercrowned One.
Adva and Alex had persuaded Jane to go and in hindsight it was obvious that they know about her promotion. John was there as well, awkwardly sitting beside The Silvercrowned One and Permeter who wanted to gossip about the other gods with somebody.

Some time after The Silvercrowned One looked proudly upon the canini standing beside as they both gulped down great breaths of air from the land of the living. It tasted a little more foul than The Silvercrowned One remembered it, but no matter. The Silvercrowned One fully admitted to being worried about the canini. He was growing older and ought to take up some kind of profession. However, all that little Barnum-Sees-Foolsgold wanted to do was keeping playing in the forests of the underworld. The Silvercrowned One loved a game just as the next deity, but not perpetual leisure!
Lady Permeter was currently above ground bringing spring to the planet so The Silvercrowned One had been obliged to have a little chat with young Barnum.
“Mother” the canini said.
“I told you my name is Barney!”
The Silvercrowned One sighed. Such youthful revolt, taking a human name.
The Silvercrowned One had after all been just the same as a young´un, running away while still being created.
“But this is what you want to do?” The Silvercrowned One asked eagerly.
“Yes, mother” Barney grinned eagerly.
While trying to have a chat about a job they had chanced upon a carnival. Barney had instantly forgotten all about it and whined to The Silvercrowned One about going. The Silvercrowned One had sighed heavily and agreed. After casting a spell to make them appear human they had entered the haunted house. It had been one of the most boring experiences in both of their lives.
After a couple of light curses Barney had swore to create a better horror theme park. And just like that, his career had been set. The Silvercrowned One had provided Barney with some money to start with and a aunt of his had given him a piece of forest in Spain. And thus the haunted exhibit of Heredia Forest of Andalusia was created, the great castle of Villa Tenebrosa its dark crown-jewel. The Silvercrowned One had left Barney to go visit Permeter and help her with her work. Both of them were in fact so delighted about their kid that they both felt they could stand to have a few more. They started to work on this project immediately and the happy whooping was heard all around the forest to the consternation of a group of commuters.

“And since my mother is the master of the underworld” Barney told a couple of his human investors.
“We can supply the park with REAL ghosts and hauntings. Just imagine the fierce edge we will have over the competition!”
The investors nodded eagerly. This guy was a little eccentric, sure, but he seemed to have some real neat and original ideas that would undoubtedly bring in the dosh. Twenty years later the biggest park in the world was opened to great success. The tourist industry of Spain boomed and many caninis came to live there to help out with the park (although many of them only came to live in the rivers and ponds and abduct young men and women to live with them forever in the forests of the underworld). The Silvercrowned One and Lady Permeter could not be more proud!

The king was absent-mindedly pulling at his whiskers while looking out at his city-state. It was full of decay and completely unregulated building and commerce, as it had for the last billion years. He sighed happily; at least he was safe. The Silvercrowned One was indeed great for making him eternal king and keeping him away from all danger forever, never to be dethroned.
Suddenly something made him jump. However, it was nothing more than a simple knock on the door. King Mortimer waved for his servants to open the door and letting the two visitors in. AHA!
Just another shade wanting King Mortimer to create a new dish/boat to tickle the whiskers and nose of The Silvercrowned One.
The shade undoubtedly wanted an offering to reach the paradise of Tymor! Personally, Mortimer could not understand sailing over the dangerous Dead Sea to reach paradise, capsizing meant eternally drowning down below! But as The Silvercrowned One demanded this of him in return for being the eternal king of the dead, he had no choice. Still, it would be nice if he did not have to do it anymore...
The other visitor was more intriguing. King Mortimer smiled at the proposal of the stranger. It all made sense to him. Unfortunately King Mortimer is a supremely selfish person (although he cooks very good food) so that sense may not apply to everybody...or indeed anybody else in the entire universe.

Rhosgobella waved at one of the little foxes still cheering over the cauldron. He was dressed in a little green dress made from leaves and branches. On his head he wore a little red hat. The dress covered his entire body except for his big feet and bushy tail. The face of the little fox was tiny, with a big nose and small beady eyes. The most extraordinary feature was his ears which were large and pointy even when compared to most of his kin. His eyes perked and his nose twitched as he heard Rhosgobella´s call for him.
“Hey Nils!” Rhosgobella called.
“Hi Hi Hi!” the little fox called back.
“Can I help you?”
“Indeed” Rhosgobella smiled.
“I have the latest report for you to give to Ray himself! Can you do it?”
“Gladly!” Nils cried back.
To help others AND to speak to Ray was his greatest delight. He grabbed the report and went into the walls of the pylon where the village of the smallfoxes were behind creaky walls and floorboards. Some of the houses were buried in ducts and vents nobody knew about except the gargoyles and Gullet, who were their leader. Some of the smallfoxes were up in the attic, some deep in the cellars. Smallfoxes can make themselves so small that they can pass between dimensions, and now Nils went (using the ancient secret words of Tjillevippen) into the kingdom of Ray.

It may now be prudent to explain a little more about the smallfoxes, their purpose and lifestyle. They were created by the fox-god Ray Firecrowned as a mirror-counterpart to his messengers. Ray´s messengers are divided in several tribes such as Wheels, Shields, Swords, Readers, Scribes, Watchers, Messengers and Chalices (although Ray could design a universe´s planets and celestial bodies to move in such a way as to create a note-sheet showing the celestial music of the soul which makes angels weep he was not very good with names).
They are powerful beings and listens to prayers of world peace and spiritual awakening. Smallpoxes on the other hand is for those small prayers when you just want to find your car-keys or something similar. They run around, tiny and unseen, until they find them and with great labor pushes them into your sight. That is why you always find them in an obvious spot after looking all over the house. Smallfoxes live in a family of siblings until they grow up.
When they are grown (which takes thousand of years) they grow into the size of normal souls and wander away to find a mate with someone from another tribe of smallfoxes. After giving birth to a new tribe they grow old and wise and become the tutor of the caninis, children of The Silvercrowned One and Permeter.

The kingdom of Ray, best friend of The Silvercrowned One, is quite vast and so Nils had to flew on a goose to make it from the Slough of Despond at the very border of the realm to the golden city of Ray. On the way he saw small ponds and markets, little temples and fields where the harvest was reap for picking. When he had arrived at at the crystal palace of Ray a messenger helped him ascend to the seventh heaven where Ray was.
“Lord, Lord!” Nils chirped happily.
“I have a report from the underworld, yes, the underworld, sir!”
“Nils” Ray said with the voice of the spring rain.
“Thank you, my dear friend”

Ray took the report and handed Nils a peach to eat. It was almost as big as Nils and he took out a peculiar tool (looking like a mix between a spade and a scythe) in order to carve out a piece to eat. While Nils feasted on the piece of peach he reflected on the fact that while Ray was one of the most benevolent and enlightened gods he did not look very pretty. He was short and covered in white cloth, almost like he was wrapped in a funeral shroud. His head was burnt with fire and his hands were bleeding from the time he had given his eyes to The Silvercrowned One.
His chest was wrapped open from being shot by evil hunters when he had gone into the world to lead mortals to the one true faith. But his tails...The tails of Ray were a million in numbers and radiated glory and power and warmth and love! Nils was being basked with it as he stood watching his god and creator read the report he had brought.
“You have all done very well” Ray finally said after reading the report.
Nils heart fluttered. Just a word from Ray was pure empowerment and joy. Hearing him saying that you did good was even more so. Ray had placed the best and most brave of his servants in the underworld to help those of Ray´s believers that were stuck there.
But in truth they helped everyone, for the followers of Ray (divided into Rayites, Firecrowners and Raywillers) were more often than not exactly the sort of people that would willingly help others and so make it out of the underworld together.

“Hmm” Ray pondered as he read the report.
Yinok, the scribe of Ray (and another member of Toth and Totte´s chessclub) sat at attention in case he had to write something down for his master. Yinok was an old man dressed in a toga and a long flowing beard. His hair was like molten wool circling his deep blue eyes. Ray was actually a bit jealous; Yinok looked a lot more “godly” than he did.
“Everything has been set right in the underworld after the barrier-crisis and all positions left has been filled up again...More and more people are joining the jackalope troops. Excellent!” Ray read slowly.
“;">Yet Tymor is still walking around, restless”
Often Ray would encounter a problem (political, scientific, religious or magical) that could not be solved by any means known to the gods. If these troubles coincided with one of The Silvercrowned One´s bout of restlessness they would go away together on long journeys into realms unknown to even the gods for a year or four and when they returned Ray would know the solution without fail and the restlessness of The Silvercrowned One would be lifted. During these times the kingdom of Ray was ruled by a stewardess called Denethune (who was a lady of the lake and a sister of Permeter) and the realm of The Silvercrowned One would be ruled by whoever The Silvercrowned One pulled out of a hat.
“It seems...” Ray mused.
“Yes, it seems that we shall go on another journey quite soon. I must admit I have missed it!”
Ray did his best to pretend to find this a little saddening, but in truth he immensely enjoyed these little excursions into the unknown. The last time this had happened was when they were both young. At that time they had visited Hy-Brazil, Hell, The chambers of 32 doors in the Dream Cave, the kingdom of Tomake, where dwelt the master storyteller and reader Dust and a strange country where people had abnormal customs and a language that had the sound of juggling something hot in your mouth (this country was Denmark).

Eight years later, The Silvercrowned One and Ray had not yet returned, but no one was worried. The underworld was safer than ever before.

Adva was taking a shower. It felt pretty weird to do so with the other, larger jackalopes considering that she was not yet actually transformed.
She began to ponder the latest mission. Planting some flowers and tending to a broken fence did not seem like too much work, especially after guiding lost souls near the edge of a exploding volcano and chopping off the hand of her mentor after it had been possessed by demons after they had wandered to close to one of the portals near Hell. Finished and dripping wet Adva dried herself with a shower and watched some of her new jackalope friends shower. Gallinega the lizard was standing completely still under the flowing water. She then stepped out and in one fluid motion shook so that all water ran off her like a goose. 
Danielle Danirsdotter the jotun, however, was just sticking her feet into a pool, keeping the rest of her body outside the pylon to enjoy a nearby waterfall. Nobody said anything, but they all noticed the sudden chill that had entered the room. They all knew what it meant and covered up. Into the showers walked the overseer of the eight pylon and Adva's head supervisor. The icen archer fastened the bow to the back of some robes hanging on the wall and smiled. Nobody knew if this blueskinned and indigo-haired person was an extremely feminine man or a somewhat butch-looking woman. It was rumored among the jackalopes that not even The Silvercrowned One knew. 
The icen archer had this large private bathroom and went into both the ladies and the men's room with impunity. The hand of the archer was in a cast, Adva was still a bit guilty about that. Still, he had suffered for her mistake in securing the are from demons and had had to exorcise no less than fourteen of the little buggers from her body over four gruelling days. And yet not all the shades of the dead had been saved from the attack...some were still lost somewhere in the underworld.
"I need not remind you that repairing the wall that separates the caninis, the children of The Silvercrowned One and Lady Permeter, is a very important task." The icen archer proclaimed sternly.
"They are children, but they are the children of two gods and very powerful. They could kill even a jackalope when playing soldiers!"
"Then why do they not help us here in the underworld!?" a jackalope protested loudly. Adva recognized her, she was a new recruit just like her.
"Because they are just as likely to trample shades and demon alike underfoot while playing race. They are children!" The icen archer said irritable.
"And when they grow up into proper gods their power will diminish in the underworld just as it is for The Silvercrowned One. Seriously, this was in the handbook, you guys!"
Adva shuddered at the thought of all of the hard and dull test one of her instructors, Mrs Wild, had forced her and the other new recruits to take. She put on her clothes and watched Gallinega tie up her loincloth. Danielle, far above them as she had now stretched up to her full lenght outside the pylon, put on a suit of red rusty armor that must have weighed at least several hundred tons. Between Adva taking the lead, Gallinega scouting out the area and Danielle carrying the lumber and tools, they were ready.

Any and all of the secretary´s accomplices had been uprooted and thrown into Hell to save the souls therein who was still willing to repent and walk the long road to paradise. Jane had become the mistress of the fourteenth pylon, beyond the wall between the valley of scissors and the safe path through the underworld. It was said that Jane´s words as she was seated into office was was:

“I have made my way through the dark, I know thee well, and I know thy name, and I know the name of her who will devour and hold thee within. Lady of might I am, who trampleth on the red demons with the Benandanti, who keepeth the festival of Tymor on the day of the hearing of faults!”
But in reality what she had said as Totte, still fierce from the stealing of his book of magic, had appointed her was leader was;
“I have lived in the paradise of Tymor for four thousand years now or something similar. I do not remember. I have done nothing except being the right woman at the right time! Whether it is destiny or whether it is free will I do not know either. I do not care about any of those things. I will take this job although I am sure others deserve it better.”

As for the commentary about the Benandanti, the hounds of God, they were werewolves employed by the god of humans Iiezo Thorncrowned. It was common knowledge (at the time) that they were stationed at the fourteenth pylon and Jane was now the leader of them.

Read the first book here:

lördag 25 juli 2015

Old article about jackalopes

In all stories of the afterlife there are always some unfortunate souls that never find peace. They are stuck in the underworld, limbo, purgatory or what have you. In jackalopes all souls must travel though the underworld to find peace. Some souls, however give up and stays in the underworld forever. They build little cities and settlements, the largest being the city of the dead by the dead sea. We do not visit it in the first book, but it is mentioned and will be quite important. A settlement we do visit is the small village of Oaohnan, between the first and second pylon of the underworld.
Here is how it and its most immediate surroundings is described in the text:

It was a tiny village in the middle of nowhere, but Scrivens told Jane that small settlements like this arose naturally as souls stopped to help each other on their long journey through the underworld. However, some souls gave up and stayed in the village forever. Jane took a closer look.
The middle building was shaped like a K, there was no other way to describe it.
It was like a tall black tower with two supporting pillars made from white oak built haphazardly around it. The rest of the houses were made out of stone and much wider than they were tall. It seemed like everyone lied down when indoors. Redélf had not returned ye, but his scribe gave Scrivens, Jane and Marvin two rooms to spend the night in.

The wood was a collection of trees, growing from thin air near the horizon. Actually it seemed like there was originally only one tree, but it had been broken into several pieces and now floated as a collection of hollow puzzle-pieces. Beyond the forest and the swamps a shadow was moving, seemingly blending into the surrounding fog.

Together, Jane and Scrivens left the rocky surroundings of the first pylon and entered a new part of the underworld. The terrain changed from cold and dark stone to green rocks and red skies. The second pylon was the closest to hell and well protected. Many jackalope guards were stationed on the side of the road and in some places deep trenches and walls were erected.
"The only dangerous part we will actually pass is the crystal caves, due to the acidic pools within. They are a melted form of the metal the valley of scissors up ahead is made out of and they can destroy the soul itself!" Scrivens explained.
Jane shivered. Her most vivid memory when traveling through the underworld for the first time was from the valley of scissors. One of the shades in her group had started to go mad, accusing the others of keeping it down and even selling it out to the demons. The shade had eventually left, and the next day they had found it all cut into tiny wriggling bloody pieces by the giant scissors of the valley.

While helping the village Jane inspires a priest to continue his travels through the underworld. He re-appears near the end in a cameo. Actually the priest is a cameo of Billiam, a minor character from my second and third book (Super Power and The Mushroom-shaped Giga Ship and The Book of Digging Forth Today, respectively). Actually, a lot of my old characters like Billiam, Reynald, Fred, Hermeline, Timothy, James and Angie appear as unnamed cameos (so I guess they all died?). Vincent Wolf makes his contractual cameo as well! The name of the village, Oahnan, is taken from the very first man who according to the bible performed a Coitus interruptus (also known as the pull-out method)! The reason I chose that name is I wanted a ancient sounding name that nevertheless allowed me to do masturbation-jokes about it.

I am classy like that.

Jackalopes chapter 14:

lördag 18 juli 2015

Jackalopes chapter 13

Despite this being an epic tale of fighting for souls lost in the underworld I also want to capture the everyday life of being a jackalope. The scene in one of my old blogposts detailing Jane´s little look into the kitchen of a pylon has already been mentioned. In both Harry Potter and Lord of the Ring we get to see, in between adventuring, the everyday life (such as it is) of our heroes. In The Lord of the Rings it is mainly trudging through dreary landscapes and recite poetry and in Harry Potter it is mostly about surviving bullies, casual racism, really unsafe lodgings and teachers who do not have to show any credentials whatsoever.
In jackalopes everyday life is mainly taken up with studying guarding and getting rid of dangerous creatures. The studying is somewhat based on my own workplace experience. I have the kind of job that you never really fully learn, you always have to stay curious! It is also important to use “dull” moments to bring forth the characters personalities by showing their reactions to the monotony. After a dangerous mission Jane feels simple guard duty to be quite calming, but after a week or so she begins to find it boring and so wanders of and stumbles into some kind of forbidden secret or conversation and finds out new things, like heroes (and heroines) are wont to do.

I want the first jackalope book to be along string of scenes that shows us all aspects of “life” in the underworld while still giving an overarching story. As for cleaning, the underworld is infested with parasites, beside the demons that eat the soul of the dead. One of them are the cirripedias. In one of my favourite scenes Jane and her two mentors cleans the wall of a pylon from an infestation of these large barnacle-like creatures. Jane is thought how to remove them alive and store up their juices. These are later send to the weapon-developer of the underworld (she has a short but sweet scene so I won´t spoil more here). Jane later gets a weapon of her own. It is the fabled Glambling, the pimped out sword of the west!

Link chapter 13:

lördag 4 juli 2015

Tymor performs the Kazotsky Kick!

After enjoying that you can find further ejoyment with the eleventh chapter of jackalopes!

lördag 20 juni 2015

Jackalopes chapter nine, the aftermath of becoming a jackalope!

I tried to put off Jane´s actual transformation into a jackalope for as long as possible. The reason for this is that I wanted to show Jane´s as capable without any help and avoid implying that everything is magically solved as long as you get super-powers. As stated several times now (but I feel it cannot be emphasized enough) I want this book to apply to both spiritual matters and “daily life”. And in daily life, people very rarely develop powers even if they want to help others. They just have to make do with their own strength!

The book of jackalopes spans about 350 pages and is divided into four chapters, with a short introduction and an anppendix. On the website the book will be divided into 15 chapters and three appendixes but the book will streamline it a bit. The chapters of the book is named after the four words the ancient Greeks had for love. These four loves is the affection of family and familiarity. The second is brotherly love and kinship, followed with the bodily and sexual love. The last love is the unconditional love which is unbound by circumstances. Early Christians (and C.S Lewis) identified this love with the love God feels towards humanity.

In other news, I am working on a new series called Tymor ruins Half-Life. People following me from the beginning may remember that I had a series called Tymor ruins Team Fortress 2. Unfortunately my interest in TF2 has taken a backseat lately and thus my interest in continuing the series has weaned. Furthermore, the newer updates and maps are not compatible with Garry's Mod which is what I am using to create this series. However, I have recently played both Half-Life and Portal and I am going to continue the parody series from there. It is a good thing Valve games are so easy to mod and that I am currently learning the Hammer tool (which is Valve´s base map creation tool).

Chapter 9 of jackalopes: